Looking at our decorated Christmas tree this evening after a week of having old wounds reopened, I feel a kinship.
Hanging beautiful ornaments on the outside amidst glowing lights doesn’t make the tree truly valuable or any more loved. It is still dying and finally, fully aware that it is not what is beautiful. It’s pine needles, pointy, are not desirable to have any contact with.
Moving through the pain, asking my Father what lessons He has for me, and trying to believe that I am valuable doesn’t negate the lack of value to so many. In this moment of clarity, I am trying to remember what my purpose is. When the “cons” list is much longer that the “pros” list, I am undone.
My Father loves me. He created me and has a beautiful purpose for my journey. Satan lies in order to destroy. I know all of this, but in this valley, it’s hard to believe it. So, I wait and invite Him into my pain. I pray that He will lead me through and guide me to His truth because mine is absent of hope.